"Love is the L" -the unanimous shared sentiment of the crew lol

Two days have passed and I'm still living. A pleasant surprise. My heart didnt stop as I had anticipated, my breath did not escape me, my chest did not cave in, and I am still here, and I am alive, and though I am broken in many ways I feel as if I possess the strength, power, and desire to be fixed again. Though I know will be fixed, I dont think i'll ever be whole again. I think there will always be a tiny little hole in my heart that has his name scribbled across in in big letters "_______ WAS HERE!!!" I've always said he will forever hold a place in my heart, I just figured it would be in a much different capacity...

I think the worst part about this is that I saw it coming. Before the pen even first laid ink upon the page, I could already anticipate the ending. And yet I still allowed this story to be written. A beautiful story with a tragic ending. And now all I do is cry as my mind races through an ever playing reel of memories, shared laughs, conversations, inside jokes, kind gestures, and damn near perfect lovin....yes, that kind! This shit is hard...so hard. And I am broken...so, so broken. I hate this, and I hate him for doing this to me, and I hate me for doing this to myself, and I most of all hate the fact that I love him too much to ever really believe that I could even come close to hating him.

I am alive. And that is what matters most. I am beautiful, talented, intelligent, charming, and perfect. And I am alive. I am broken, but I am on my way to being fixed. Its all a matter of time.

"Its like settling for chex mix when you could have caviar" -R.Y.